To Baby

I'm frustrated with you. Quite frustrated.

As the days go by, I realise that you are pushing me further and further from love. I cant communicate well with you anymore. Each time, we end up being unhappy. When I asked why you are unhappy, you just kept ur silence. You know its not gonna help but yet you still held ur tongue. Why?

"You always missed the point",you replied to my relentless naggings.

Then, why dont you tell me what is the point?? Why?

Its so frustrating trying to crack my head, thinking of what could be wrong when all I did was just to pop up the window of my msn and read what my male friend just msn me. I didn't even reply him! So... what's the point? What reason is there for your reaction? I've never expected myself to be so trapped in a relationship.

Few weeks ago, you DRAGGED me all the way to Sentosa and did not tell me in advance of where we are heading, leaving me to happily assume that I can go shopping after doing my roadshows. I was so pissed that I really felt like walking away there and then. You didnt realise.
I was in sneakers and SOOOOOOOoooo not in the mood to watch sunset.

Did you realise that you perfectly spoiled a potential romantic evening?

"But you can do shopping later! The shops will open late but sunset cant wait!" That's your reason.

I felt like slapping you in the face. I cant believe how insensitive you've become towards my feelings. How can sunset be good when I'm not in any mood to watch it? I thought you should understand. You thought that I was okay afterwards. Did you actually know how much prep talk I have to tell myself to calm myself down and prevent me from kicking you into the sea?
Gosh. Man. Idiotic creatures.

If it wasnt for you, if it wasnt that I knew how much you loved to watch the sunset, I would have stomped off. Mind you, not once had I felt so thoroughly angry at such a supposedly-romantic act.

Every weekend, you had to rush me to do my roadshows. It made me think that you dun realise how important it is that I have to do things right cos I am answerable to Clarence if anything wrong happens and I didnt take note of. I feel so breathless --- in a bad way, that I had to be rushed to do my work. You said that its for my own good, so that I can have more time to do my own things. But.... you didnt bother to explain until last weekend. How many weekends have I been frustrated? You just left things be.

I feel that you like to rush me. On the contary, I like to take things slow and relaxing. You know that but yet you chose to upset me cos ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD. I agreed with you... so I went along with your decisions.

However, it is so uncalled for when you sound upset cos I spent longer time than expected at my Grandpa's house! This is absolutely ridiculous. I know that you cant help it to not feel good as you'll rather I rest at home or do my own things. But, understand that I can make my own decisions! If i say I'm gonna spend longer time there, I'm gonna. I thought you were understanding when you told me to enjoy my dinner there BUT the first thing you asked when I called you back home was, " I thought you were there just to show face, why you took so long?"

GOODNESS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........
Do I always have to explain myself? Do I have to? I hate to explain myself. Especially for such things that are self-explanatory! Cos I wanted to spend more time there!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many other things that along the way, it will cause our communication with each other to breakdown and wear out my patience. I have no courage to say these to you face to face as I know you would sigh like there's no tomorrow and show me the face that I absolutely dread to see.

Baby, there are problems accumulating... can you see? You really used to understand me so well that I need not open my mouth for you to read my mind. What happened to that? We are unhappy with each other more and more. Its making me lose control of myself sometimes. I feel so trapped... so restricted that I cant even visit my relatives without feeling upset.
If you wanted to see me, just tell me directly. You do not need to ask me why I was there for such a long time. Everything would have started off at a wrong note. I would love to make you happy but what happened to our happiness? Why are we getting more and more unhappy with each other? I dread to think that one day either of us cant take it anymore and walks away..